Unicorns and Rainbows
A magical mindset
In a recent email, a colleague alluded to something not being well with his family. After we shared a few short responses, I wrote,
“There’s a whole lot of difficulty and sadness in the world. Fortunately, there is even more to celebrate. Then again, I often say my world is filled with unicorns and rainbows.”
He said that unicorns and rainbows were a great way to look at things and he loved it. I think he was probably being kind but, for just a moment, a doorway opened to consider a bit of wonder and magic. Nothing changed but perspective, but it was enough to lift his spirits and help him welcome the possibility of a better day.
It’s true that I often describe myself this way, but I’ve never tried to put words to what exactly it means – and why it might be helpful to embrace for meaningful interactions.
What you focus on grows
Where we put our intention is more important than we might realize. A few examples:
My father told me it was a “dog-eat-dog world” and I needed to “get them before they got me.” When I disagreed, he called me a romanticist and said I needed to be a realist. His view of reality drove his experience of negative interactions and I wanted no part in that.
Someone I used to work with held quite a lot of fear in her life. As some might listen to music or television when at home, she listened to a police scanner. She felt it would make her feel safer to know immediately if anything was reported near where she lived. In reality, it simply fed her fear.
And then there’s a very dear friend of mine who always sees the good in others, no matter what. She believes that all people are deserving of love, and respect, and human dignity – and she showers that on everyone she meets. It’s not surprising that they respond in kind. That’s pretty extraordinary – and that is a very magical lens.
There is a principle within the practice of Appreciative Inquiry that states, “What you focus on grows.” If you look for what feeds your fear, you will find it. If you look for what lifts your heart, you will find that as well. I wholeheartedly believe this to be true.
My father constantly interacted with people who were out to “get him” in one way or another (in his distorted point of view). The police scanner woman continually found ways to be more and more fearful. And my dear friend manages to find the most wonderful people in her life as she shares the beauty of her soul with the world.
I will not say I come close to matching the inherent goodness of my friend, but I see her and appreciate her and cherish her. Being able to see the good in others opens our heart and invites us to interact.
What I know about myself
I tend to view life through a magical lens. I believe that life skews to the positive over time. As sucky as things can get, they will get better. In dark moments, I find myself reminded of one of my favorite Florence Scovel Shinn quotes:
“It is dark before the dawn but the dawn never fails. Trust the dawn.”
I know that people are inherently good – well, maybe not the psychopaths and sociopaths of the world, but they are few and far between. I believe when we acknowledge that goodness and speak to it, good things happen. Interactions flourish.
I know when I speak from my heart, my words have the ring of authenticity. People hear those words in a different, more meaningful way. It doesn’t matter if they are written or spoken – they are imbued with a soft and meaningful power. Hearts open, emotions shift, mutual understanding takes place.
These examples all give birth to a feeling of wonder. They are all magical. They are all unicorns and rainbows. And they are my reality.
How do you view the world?
We all have a unique worldview, based on our beliefs and experiences. My view is that my beliefs drive my experiences. I see the best in people, and the great majority see the best in me. That is a perfect starting point for intentionally honoring communication and interaction.
And you? What is the lens through which you view the world? I would welcome hearing from you in the comments.
Terrific, Cathy. You take me to Max Planck, Nobel Prize winning Physicist in 1918, who said,
"When we change the way we look at things, the things we're looking at change."
I view the world in and through ongoing creation of which I am a small, infinitesimal part, nonetheless part. I am doing my part to co-create and collaborate with others who are kind, compassionate, caring, and sharing. Perceptions can change and so do we. The question I ask frequently is "What kind of change do you want?"
Beautiful! I so loved hearing your magical voice deliver such realities! Sadly, your father sounds a little like mine, and with the passage of time and my own development, I have chose to focus on his best attributes.