Charlotte, thank you for this. I am so happy that I had the opportunity to meet so many of your beautiful family. All of you shine with that same light. Witnessing the stories continues to stay with me.
I noticed that your comment had cut off mid-sentence when I responded but I now see more. Hopefully you can, as well. If not, I am aware that I can post a comment as a Note if you’d like me to do that. Or I can take a screen capture and send it to Tara to forward to you. If you know another option, please let me know. Thank you, Charlotte!
Such a beautiful post, Cathy. What an inspiring remembrance as well as a gentle reminder that our legacy is made of the smallest action - that we can make a big difference for someone simply by giving them a few moments of our time. Thank you. I listened to this first thing in the morning, and it softened my day in a very comforting way.
This is so beautiful, Cathy. It reminds me of something I wrote about when I asked my elderly parents what they thought their legacy would be. My mom started crying, saying she didn't have a legacy to leave us. Just as you wrote, she imagined that legacy was financial gain for those left behind. I had been hosting a luncheon for them, so we all went around the table, sharing the qualities they each gave us and that we tried to emulate.
This is a wonderful read to start the new year, actually a wonderful read at any time of the year! The essence of a life well lived comes through in your telling of this lovely man's life. Your question matters, and as I continue to mature, I am very conscious how much it matters. To be remembered for the things I want to be remembered for, I have to wake up every day and be intentional and attentive. It's a good practice. Thank you, Cathy!
I am certainly with the essence of your argument. I have a PhD and have written a pile of books, but I would most of all like to be remembered for being a good and a kind person. I try to be helpful to those around me, most often nowadays my grandchildren. I would also like a couple of my books to be remembered, not because I wrote them but because they are the conduit for the actual words of a lot of lovely and thoughtful people interviewed - in one case, people who work in hospice care and, in the other, people with AIDS in the 1990s most of whom died not long after.
Being remembered as a good and kind person is a wonderful legacy! I didn't know about your books, Ann. Those who work in hospice are very special souls. Please share the name of the books you mentioned. I'd love to read them.
I didn't mention a third, but I am fond of it too: Celebrating Grandmothers: Grandmothers talk about their lives. It never sold well (and is less poignant than the other two) but tells 'how it really is' to be a grandmother, positive and negative, which isn't told in many places.
1). Life in a Hospice: Reflections on caring for the dying. (Foreword by Tony Benn, who was a much loved UK political figure back in the day.) I am just working on one of the interviews (with a lovely healthcare assistant) to be my next post. I did post one on the thoughts of the hospice chef, who was a fabulously thoughtful guy https://arichardson.substack.com/p/what-can-we-learn-from-a-hospice
2) Wise Before their Time: People with AIDS and HIV talk about their lives (Foreword by Ian McKellen). I have posted one interview from this book about a toddler dying (read with tissues handy) https://arichardson.substack.com/p/daisy and plan to post another sometime soon.
Thanks so much and for restacking or whatever it is that you did (I get confused sometimes about what people do). It occurred to me that if you liked those, the REALLY poignant one is about a mother deciding to let her son with learning disabilities leave home: https://arichardson.substack.com/p/if-you-love-him-let-him-go. It's a brilliant interview (I planned, managed and wrote up all these interviews, but had two wonderful interviewers who were much better than I would ever be at the actual task of getting people to talk very deeply about things). The 'letting go' project was THE most emotional study I ever did as well as the most fascinating because it was about parents in their 50s, 60s and 70s, with sons and daughters with learning difficulties who had lived with them all their lives (because that is what people did) thinking about what would happen when they (parents) died, leaving a vulnerable child behind. I can't even think about this study without welling up. Have a read. Have a tissue!
Thank you for sharing the post, Ann. The care this young man is receiving sounds like a godsend for both his mother and him. It was brave of her to take that step.
Thank you Cathy for sharing your moving observations regarding my Brother's home going.
The observations that you made about your personal experiences at the service were, sweet and on point.
Yes, he touched and was a light in so many of our lives; my Dear Brother was intelligent, caring, funny, strong, compassionate, giving and loving.
Also, he was a committed/devoted family man, for whom family was a, TOP PRIORITY!!!
Charlotte, thank you for this. I am so happy that I had the opportunity to meet so many of your beautiful family. All of you shine with that same light. Witnessing the stories continues to stay with me.
Cathy, I lost a portion of my comment and I wanted to share it with my Mother.
Could you possibly pull it up and repost it on the website, so that I can share it with her now.
Thank you so much.
Charlotte
I noticed that your comment had cut off mid-sentence when I responded but I now see more. Hopefully you can, as well. If not, I am aware that I can post a comment as a Note if you’d like me to do that. Or I can take a screen capture and send it to Tara to forward to you. If you know another option, please let me know. Thank you, Charlotte!
Such a beautiful post, Cathy. What an inspiring remembrance as well as a gentle reminder that our legacy is made of the smallest action - that we can make a big difference for someone simply by giving them a few moments of our time. Thank you. I listened to this first thing in the morning, and it softened my day in a very comforting way.
Thank you for your kind words, Jamie. I love that this brought comfort to your day!
So wonderful to hear the recount of what I also experienced at the funeral. Thank you for sharing your legacy!
Thank you, Andria - this means so much to me!
This is so beautiful, Cathy. It reminds me of something I wrote about when I asked my elderly parents what they thought their legacy would be. My mom started crying, saying she didn't have a legacy to leave us. Just as you wrote, she imagined that legacy was financial gain for those left behind. I had been hosting a luncheon for them, so we all went around the table, sharing the qualities they each gave us and that we tried to emulate.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story, Paulette. What a gift you gave your parents - and each other!
Thanks for reminding me. It's those moments we hold close in our hearts
Very moving, Cathy. What's most important is how we treat others in life.
That is so true. Thank you, Sandra!
This is a wonderful read to start the new year, actually a wonderful read at any time of the year! The essence of a life well lived comes through in your telling of this lovely man's life. Your question matters, and as I continue to mature, I am very conscious how much it matters. To be remembered for the things I want to be remembered for, I have to wake up every day and be intentional and attentive. It's a good practice. Thank you, Cathy!
Thank you for this, Robyn! Being intentional and attentive is so important. A good practice, indeed!
I am certainly with the essence of your argument. I have a PhD and have written a pile of books, but I would most of all like to be remembered for being a good and a kind person. I try to be helpful to those around me, most often nowadays my grandchildren. I would also like a couple of my books to be remembered, not because I wrote them but because they are the conduit for the actual words of a lot of lovely and thoughtful people interviewed - in one case, people who work in hospice care and, in the other, people with AIDS in the 1990s most of whom died not long after.
Being remembered as a good and kind person is a wonderful legacy! I didn't know about your books, Ann. Those who work in hospice are very special souls. Please share the name of the books you mentioned. I'd love to read them.
I didn't mention a third, but I am fond of it too: Celebrating Grandmothers: Grandmothers talk about their lives. It never sold well (and is less poignant than the other two) but tells 'how it really is' to be a grandmother, positive and negative, which isn't told in many places.
1). Life in a Hospice: Reflections on caring for the dying. (Foreword by Tony Benn, who was a much loved UK political figure back in the day.) I am just working on one of the interviews (with a lovely healthcare assistant) to be my next post. I did post one on the thoughts of the hospice chef, who was a fabulously thoughtful guy https://arichardson.substack.com/p/what-can-we-learn-from-a-hospice
2) Wise Before their Time: People with AIDS and HIV talk about their lives (Foreword by Ian McKellen). I have posted one interview from this book about a toddler dying (read with tissues handy) https://arichardson.substack.com/p/daisy and plan to post another sometime soon.
Thank you for sharing all this information, Ann. The posts were wonderful - and I look forward to reading the two books I just ordered.
Thanks so much and for restacking or whatever it is that you did (I get confused sometimes about what people do). It occurred to me that if you liked those, the REALLY poignant one is about a mother deciding to let her son with learning disabilities leave home: https://arichardson.substack.com/p/if-you-love-him-let-him-go. It's a brilliant interview (I planned, managed and wrote up all these interviews, but had two wonderful interviewers who were much better than I would ever be at the actual task of getting people to talk very deeply about things). The 'letting go' project was THE most emotional study I ever did as well as the most fascinating because it was about parents in their 50s, 60s and 70s, with sons and daughters with learning difficulties who had lived with them all their lives (because that is what people did) thinking about what would happen when they (parents) died, leaving a vulnerable child behind. I can't even think about this study without welling up. Have a read. Have a tissue!
Thank you for sharing the post, Ann. The care this young man is receiving sounds like a godsend for both his mother and him. It was brave of her to take that step.