You and Jess are both too kind - and I so appreciate that! I don't know about your eagle eyes, but I whole-heartedly agree that you are a great curator of interesting information. There's an art to that and you do it beautifully!
And I fully agree with you that we learn when we see ourselves through the eyes of others - especially when they view us through a positive lens. They often see us in a far better light than we see ourselves, and that can be quite a gift.
Thanks so much for reading and sharing your oh-so-nice comment, Jamie!
What a wonderful story and reflection, Cathy. And I second what Jess said about you not only holding space for authenticity, but also giving it a nudge when needed - such a powerful gift.
I don’t get much feedback, but the bits I remember from over the years are often random, seemingly off-the-cuff observations that have almost nothing to do with anything. For example, I remember my parents telling me I had eagle eyes when I was a kid. I also remember an online acquaintance telling me I am really great at curating interesting information.
People should give each other kudos more often and for no reason. It helps us learn about ourselves when we can see ourselves through someone else’s eyes.
Wow - thank you for this on so many levels, Jess! I love the concept of nudging authenticity to light. I take that as a high complement and am incredibly touched.
I fully agree with you that feedback is meant to be generative and generous. Even when there are hard truths to be relayed, it should still focus on fostering growth - and here it often fails.
Thank you, too, for introducing me to SoulSpeak. I love the way they frame giving feedback!!! Of course it enabled a profound shift - they are very powerful questions and I am so happy you shared them here!
You absolutely create space for authenticity, Cathy. I might take it even further and suggest you nudge the authenticity in to the light. At least, that's been my experience of you. And I just adore your reframe of feedback. With SoulSpeak, we give feedback by answering three things - What did I love about this? What did I want to know more about? And what did I have questions about? The first time I encountered this, it was a profound shift for me, and I can't imagine giving or receiving feedback any other way now. Feedback in its truest form is meant to be generative and generous, not punitive and punishing. It is my goal that moving forward, any feedback I give feels like a hug, not a hit.
This post was a wonderful reminder that we never really know what our impact is on those around us. So many times earlier in my life I hesitated to reach out and let people know what they meant to me. Then something would happen (like death for example) and I wasn't able to express my feelings. As I age, I realize that we shouldn't wait until a eulogy before we express our gratefulness to others. I know how happy compliments and acknowledgements make me feel when I receive them, so now I make it a point to not let those opportunities slip away...
Thank you for sharing this, Sheila. I also hesitated in the past. I was painfully shy and it was hard for me to express what was in my heart. Eulogies are a wake up call, aren't they? I made a decision to share how much someone means to me long before they are taken from my life - before, as you beautifully say, "those opportunities slip away..."
Such an important post Cathy. Your thoughtful reminders and examples of practicing how we want to be in the world help me remember how much impact we have on just the people we meet every day. And how important it is to notice and remark when others are positive influences in our lives.
I enjoyed your example of reading the notes in your HS yearbook decades later. And hooray for your former colleague sending you the note. Those reflections are deep reminders too.
As an attorney I was often involved in people's lives at a stressful time and fortunately became part of the solution most of the time. I became aware that just by being someone solid and outside the stress gave them a sense of relief and assurance that I wasn't aware of until they would comment later. Those reflections helped me become more intentional about calmness and often it was the careful listening to them that helped them get perspective too.
I really like the reference of how we impact other people in your 'short description'--"Choose the change wisely.'
Thank you for your very generous comments, Leslie - I loved reading this! I'm happy to know your clients were able to share with you the impact you had in their lives. I understand the power of having a solid, calming presence to lean on - especially during times of high stress.
To your point, we positively impact people all the time - a word, a smile, a thoughtful courtesy. We simply don't know it - unless we are told. It's important to share the feedback.
Cathy, Every once in a while, I meet someone from my past who gives me a beautiful positive feedback like the one you received. It has been eye-opening and affirming and needed because we often tend to look through a negative lens. Thank you for writing this and encouraging us to be authentic and generous in giving positive feedback.
I'm so happy to know you have experienced this, Sandra - thank you for sharing it! It's so illuminating to have our past misperceptions busted - especially for those like me who tend to view ourselves through a lens of "less than." It is truly a gift.
Cathy, what a timely post! With so much negativity thrown at us daily, it reminds us how genuine feedback can both build trust and foster authenticity. I really appreciate you sharing your reflections and honoring who you are and what you have and continue to bring to the conversation.
Thank you for this, Paulette! Reading it I am reminded how transformational your comments have been to me. Comments are feedback and I love the richness and positivity that drive yours. 💕
You and Jess are both too kind - and I so appreciate that! I don't know about your eagle eyes, but I whole-heartedly agree that you are a great curator of interesting information. There's an art to that and you do it beautifully!
And I fully agree with you that we learn when we see ourselves through the eyes of others - especially when they view us through a positive lens. They often see us in a far better light than we see ourselves, and that can be quite a gift.
Thanks so much for reading and sharing your oh-so-nice comment, Jamie!
What a wonderful story and reflection, Cathy. And I second what Jess said about you not only holding space for authenticity, but also giving it a nudge when needed - such a powerful gift.
I don’t get much feedback, but the bits I remember from over the years are often random, seemingly off-the-cuff observations that have almost nothing to do with anything. For example, I remember my parents telling me I had eagle eyes when I was a kid. I also remember an online acquaintance telling me I am really great at curating interesting information.
People should give each other kudos more often and for no reason. It helps us learn about ourselves when we can see ourselves through someone else’s eyes.
Wow - thank you for this on so many levels, Jess! I love the concept of nudging authenticity to light. I take that as a high complement and am incredibly touched.
I fully agree with you that feedback is meant to be generative and generous. Even when there are hard truths to be relayed, it should still focus on fostering growth - and here it often fails.
Thank you, too, for introducing me to SoulSpeak. I love the way they frame giving feedback!!! Of course it enabled a profound shift - they are very powerful questions and I am so happy you shared them here!
You absolutely create space for authenticity, Cathy. I might take it even further and suggest you nudge the authenticity in to the light. At least, that's been my experience of you. And I just adore your reframe of feedback. With SoulSpeak, we give feedback by answering three things - What did I love about this? What did I want to know more about? And what did I have questions about? The first time I encountered this, it was a profound shift for me, and I can't imagine giving or receiving feedback any other way now. Feedback in its truest form is meant to be generative and generous, not punitive and punishing. It is my goal that moving forward, any feedback I give feels like a hug, not a hit.
This post was a wonderful reminder that we never really know what our impact is on those around us. So many times earlier in my life I hesitated to reach out and let people know what they meant to me. Then something would happen (like death for example) and I wasn't able to express my feelings. As I age, I realize that we shouldn't wait until a eulogy before we express our gratefulness to others. I know how happy compliments and acknowledgements make me feel when I receive them, so now I make it a point to not let those opportunities slip away...
Thank you for sharing this, Sheila. I also hesitated in the past. I was painfully shy and it was hard for me to express what was in my heart. Eulogies are a wake up call, aren't they? I made a decision to share how much someone means to me long before they are taken from my life - before, as you beautifully say, "those opportunities slip away..."
Such an important post Cathy. Your thoughtful reminders and examples of practicing how we want to be in the world help me remember how much impact we have on just the people we meet every day. And how important it is to notice and remark when others are positive influences in our lives.
I enjoyed your example of reading the notes in your HS yearbook decades later. And hooray for your former colleague sending you the note. Those reflections are deep reminders too.
As an attorney I was often involved in people's lives at a stressful time and fortunately became part of the solution most of the time. I became aware that just by being someone solid and outside the stress gave them a sense of relief and assurance that I wasn't aware of until they would comment later. Those reflections helped me become more intentional about calmness and often it was the careful listening to them that helped them get perspective too.
I really like the reference of how we impact other people in your 'short description'--"Choose the change wisely.'
Thank you for your very generous comments, Leslie - I loved reading this! I'm happy to know your clients were able to share with you the impact you had in their lives. I understand the power of having a solid, calming presence to lean on - especially during times of high stress.
To your point, we positively impact people all the time - a word, a smile, a thoughtful courtesy. We simply don't know it - unless we are told. It's important to share the feedback.
Thank you again for this wonderful exchange!
Cathy, Every once in a while, I meet someone from my past who gives me a beautiful positive feedback like the one you received. It has been eye-opening and affirming and needed because we often tend to look through a negative lens. Thank you for writing this and encouraging us to be authentic and generous in giving positive feedback.
I'm so happy to know you have experienced this, Sandra - thank you for sharing it! It's so illuminating to have our past misperceptions busted - especially for those like me who tend to view ourselves through a lens of "less than." It is truly a gift.
Cathy, what a timely post! With so much negativity thrown at us daily, it reminds us how genuine feedback can both build trust and foster authenticity. I really appreciate you sharing your reflections and honoring who you are and what you have and continue to bring to the conversation.
Thank you for this, Paulette! Reading it I am reminded how transformational your comments have been to me. Comments are feedback and I love the richness and positivity that drive yours. 💕
Thank you, Cathy, that's so kind of you to say and made me smile.
Making you smile makes me happy. 😊
Great post. This one really resonates with me.
Thank you, Allison - I so appreciate knowing that!